Surreal

Just like that
A month gone by
I still smell you
I still feel you

It's surreal
Surreal to think that
All this work and activity going on
Doesn't seem to make any bloody sense at all

Nothing at all

Living?
I merely exist
My battery keeps running
And I keep doing what I do
Why?

Dreamlike

Home?
No longer.
Just an apartment.

Wake up to an empty house
Arrive home to an empty house

Just don't make no sense no more
Just like a butterfly fleeting
30 days of agony
All seemingly fine

Like a dead cactus
You can't tell if its dead
Till you drop it

90 Minutes In Heaven

Pastor Wendy Watson gave me this book a few weeks back.

If there's any book you should read, it's this!

It's been a great source of inspiration, assurance, comfort and encouragement to me.

You know even as a Christian we sometimes wonder what Heaven is like. And for those in bereavement like me, we desperately long to seek some affirmation/confirmation of where our loved one has gone too...we need so much to hear the reality of Heaven. Since our feet is always firmly planted on earth, the image of and idea of Heaven may seem distant at times.

This book has changed all that.

It's made coping much better.

It's put a smile on my face.

It's shown me what a glimpse of heaven is like... amazing as Don described.

Here's a brief excerpt about his experience and the book:

In 1989, Don was on his way back from a church conference when an 18-wheeler truck struck his Ford Escort head on. He was killed instantly - pronounced dead by four sets of EMTs (Paramedics)

Shortly after the accident, a pastor from the same conference arrived on the scene and began praying for "the man in the red car." God worked a miracle and sent Don back to his now-broken body. To date, 34 surgical procedures have taken place. He walks only as a result of miraculous and in some cases medically unexplainable circumstances. During the time he was dead, Piper was granted the extreme privilege of glimpsing Heaven itself.

Don's experience in Heaven gives him a unique insight into eternity and a strong desire to tell others about Christ. His difficult recovery allows him to identify with the heartbroken and crestfallen, ministering to them with the understanding of someone who's been there. His goal is to help bitter people become better, to turn disappointments into divine appointments. He calls it "finding a new normal" and he's made it his life's work.

And I'd like to imagine as mentioned (in the book) that when I get to Heaven, there would be a welcoming committee awaiting, and as Pastor Wendy said - Jo would obviously be the 1st to run and welcome me...what a beautiful thought and scene...astounding.

I can't wait to get there...in His time.

Note: the book is difficult to find, you can check with SKS Books or contact me.

He Makes Me Lie Down (6 July 2007 - Strength for the Journey)

Reading this a few nights ago was comforting. After the previous weeks' hectic activities organised by my ever loving and caring pals and family, I realised I needed time to just be alone with God and be by myself. To rediscover myself, and seek His direction for the future...

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul.” Psalm 23:2-3

A pastor friend of mine was telling another pastor about the long-awaited vacation that he and his family were preparing for. The other pastor immediately replied, “Vacation? I never take a vacation. Satan doesn’t take a vacation and neither do I!”

To which my friend wisely retorted, “Well, that’s all right. Satan has never been my example!”

In the summer when school is out and the sun is shining, our thoughts turn toward vacation. And that’s a good thing! We were wired with an innate need to take a break from our usual pace and spend some time being refreshed and recharged.

But for some reason, we sometimes seem apologetic about taking time off or needing a change of pace for a little while. It may be that our internal understanding of a real “work ethic” demands that we feel a little guilty about time that we’re not being “productive” or “efficient.” Or maybe we are concerned that those projects and clients we have been carefully nurturing along will fall to pieces if we put them on hold for a week or two. Maybe we are distorting Paul’s words to the Ephesians, resisting vacations and working nonstop so that we can “make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16).

If that’s your brain strain, then let me put a biblical stop to that train of thought and provide you with three solid, straight-from-Scripture reasons to enjoy a guilt-free, refreshing time away from your usual pace of work this summer.

Reason number one: it’s commanded in Scripture. The fourth commandment tells us to “remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” (Exodus 20:8). That means more than just going to church on Sunday. The principle of “Sabbath”—rooted in God’s example through creation of resting on the seventh day—intertwines with the Old Testament law code.

There were not only to be days of Sabbath, but week-long festivals scattered throughout the Jewish seasons. In fact, there were Sabbath years in their calendar! God’s loving command was intended to pull His people aside for rest so they would be reminded that all good things come from Him . . . not from their frantic efforts at work.

A second reason why it’s a good idea to take a well-deserved break is that your body and spirit need it. I love the picture that David paints for us in Psalm 23 of a shepherd leading his sheep to a place of refreshment and rest. We are finite, fallible, limited creatures, and without rest we’ll find that burnout and exhaustion eventually take their toll. Our ability to be gracious, loving, and patient will be a casualty of our compulsive work habits. Fatigue and weariness will leave us vulnerable to temptation. And most disturbingly, our intimacy with the Lord will suffer as our time with Him becomes perfunctory at best, and nonexistent at worst. All that can be avoided if we allow our Good Shepherd to restore our soul with times of rest in green pastures and with seasons of refreshment beside quiet waters.

And just in case we need another reason to put our feet up and relax now and then, remember that Jesus did it! He often withdrew from the crush of the crowds to seasons of prayer and rest. During a storm on the Sea of Galilee He was sound asleep in the boat (Mark 4:38). And we are told that while on a trip from Judea to Galilee “Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well” (John 4:6). There were always more people to heal, more messages to preach, and more places to go, but Jesus displayed the importance of rest.

So, whether it’s a weekend of camping, a day at the pool, or a week away with close friends or family members, turn off the cell-phone, close the computer, and get away! There’s no good reason not to!

YOUR JOURNEY…

How has God used previous vacations and times away to refresh and restore your soul?
Do you find it hard to schedule time away, and do you feel guilty or fearful on vacations? Take some time to think through why that might be.
What plans are in place for you to follow through on God’s instruction about rest and refreshment? It may not be this summer, or even during the fall, but what about within the next six months?

The Week of 25/6

I don't even know where or how to begin, but here goes...

The week of 25/6 was undoubtedly crazy.
I wasn't really exhausted to think I'd about 8 hrs sleep in 4 days.
I stayed at brother's place since my KL relatives were down. It was just like old times when we'd stay up late and chat thru the nite over wine or coffee. Dad bunked over too. It's amazing all of us could squeeze into his comfy home.

Thursday (28/6) was the funeral and we had a nice thanksgiving dinner at Zui Fairprice @ Upper Thomson Road. For those of you who wasn't there. Click the link for the review by ST Foodies Club.

Friday (29/6) - Sea burial @ MSP.
We met Ricky (Hosanna Bereavement) at Marina South Pier (MSP), took an orange boat some 15 mins out to sea with Rev Alvin conducting the service. We had a nice bunch of friends with us that day. Thanks for your presence folks! We finished off again with another sumptuous meal @ my dad's and dad-in-law's fav restaurant - Spring Court Restaurant in Chinatown. Great for it's cantonese cuisine and Peking Duck!

In the evening, I hung out with my good buddies - Sam & Alex at a Pub just above the Changi Point Ferry Terminal (CPFT), I think it's called the Terminal or something. Really nice ambience...a nice quiet laid back alfresco joint. You can even catch the planes landing at Changi.

Saturday (30/6) - Oz vs Singapore Football Game @ National Stadium
You can catch DD's write up and some really great photos in his blog. We went as a foursome (DD, AC, Colin and myself) thanks to DD's friend who provided the complimentary tickets. Thank you! We had a great time shouting our lungs out at the Singapore team... of course we had to lose 3-0 to the Aussies. But hey, they played a nicer game in the end. There were some pathetic fireworks...outside water was banned and we'd had to endure some 4 hours without it since every conceivable water joint IN the stadium had a line as long as cars returning from the Causeway after a school's hols. We ended up at Barks Cafe in Changi after the game having some drinks and snacks...I was really dog tired literally.

I must say that I've experienced an amazing sense of Peace, that which only comes from God. A peace that surpasses all human understanding...

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. Psalms 29:11

It's All About Her

It's always been about her.
It's surreal to think that she was just here, and now she's gone.
I can't even begin to think about her, or I'll start to tear.

She was and will always be everything to me.
She was my hopes encompassed.
She was what love was all about.
She was my reason for being.
She was my greatest friend.
She made me who I am today.

She gave me the opportunity to love, care and serve her unconditionally.
She taught me patience when hurriedness was what I was about.
She broadened my horizon to the finer side of foods.
She displayed true simplicity for a woman of this age.
She had a smile that could warm the coldest heart.
She had inner strength so great, it was hard to imagine what she went through all these years.

Now, all is empty...
All is silent.
Seemingly cold.

Shattered.

Not a word.
Not a shadow.

Two have now become One.

Obituary

For those of you who may have missed the obituary that appeared in The Straits Times, 26 June 2007. (Click on the pix for a larger view)