Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Surreal

Just like that
A month gone by
I still smell you
I still feel you

It's surreal
Surreal to think that
All this work and activity going on
Doesn't seem to make any bloody sense at all

Nothing at all

Living?
I merely exist
My battery keeps running
And I keep doing what I do
Why?

Dreamlike

Home?
No longer.
Just an apartment.

Wake up to an empty house
Arrive home to an empty house

Just don't make no sense no more
Just like a butterfly fleeting
30 days of agony
All seemingly fine

Like a dead cactus
You can't tell if its dead
Till you drop it

10 comments:

jules said...

Hey Alex,

Hang in there...still rooting for u and keeping u in my prayers always. We have not forgotten u. A suggestion if u feel like it, keep a dog or cat or bird or hamster or fishes or a terrapin, so u won't be going home to an empty apartment...

Grief is a journey,
often perilous and without clear direction, that must be taken.
The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely.
It is inevitable as breathing, as change, as love.
It may be postponed, but it will not be denied.

Molly Fumia

I am sure many will journey with u to find a place of peace and healing...

God Bless,
Julie

Anonymous said...

Bro,
We are all not alone mate. We have friends and family.

In time Alex that pain will heal. She is suffering no more and she is the tender hands of our Lord Jesus.

We will always pray for you - give you his stength to see why tomorrow always has a reason. He has a reason that I know you, he has a reason why you are on earth tomorrow. He has a reason for everything.

Take care
Kenneth JR

jules said...

Just to share with you the following I read in a Christian newsletter, beautiful passage...

IF TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUT ME. . .

If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

R said...

Be encouraged and lifted up with His Love.

Anonymous said...

She is watching u every moment. Take heart she will feel what u feel for the spirit world is a world of feelings. Film to watch 'What dreams may come'

AC said...

Bro,

We all miss her sight, her warmth and her smile. But we know she is safe in the home above where there is nothing but Peace and Love.

Her love is strong and big enough to reach down from above... and we can feel that coming through you, each time we meet.

We are all proud that you have not grieved with your head bowed low. Keep going and keep on writing for her.

Anonymous said...

I cry when hes not around.
Its an emptiness that
Makes my heart ache
Even physically ache

Its a longing.
A deep longing to be together again.

Then, I enter Gods presence
During those times of quiet
And the tears pour
These warm tears pour
And mend the raw cracks
In the heart.
God heals.

God has healed.


God will heal and uplift you
Wait upon the Lord
Rush not ahead of Him.
Rest in being a child of His first.

Anonymous said...

Bro,
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low
and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a person turns about
When they might have won had they stuck it out.

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seen worst that you mustn't quit.

And I will welcome you anytime to my home. Just call.

Take care
Charles

Anonymous said...

i only come to know of this journey from a friend, when your beloved wife has been called home...i read the journey with tears shed...for her, for her family (esp. her parents...) and for you...

*hugz* you are thought of in my prayers...stay strong, brother...God loves you...

Anonymous said...

Hey Alex,
Came to know of your loss only recently from a mutual friend.We are sure that in time the Lord will heal the pain that you are going through.Look to Him as your source of inner strength as you continue in this journey.He will watch over you and stay close by your side.

Valerie and Winston