"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;I have called you by name; you are Mine! When you pass through the waters, I will be fine with you;And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,Nor will the flame burn you.For I am the Lord your
God."
We are now at the phase of our Journey where we're scaling a steep part of the mountain.
In fact we began the ascent, as I sit back and reflect, some 6 months back with the first occurence of Jo's back pain.
We don't know how much farther there is to climb before we reach the summit, but it's been lengthy and tough...really tough. At this point, we can't see all the way up but we can see quite a bit of how far we've come.
For those who know me, I've got a natural fear of heights or acrophobia. I don't know how this developed but it must have happened during one of the inter-island flights I took while I was studying overseas. So climbing let alone mountain climbing is the last thing on my mind and perhaps to me - a mindless life endangering activity which can be hardly considered as recreational.
April 19, 2007 - A night I'll never forget.
I usually never have Jo out of sight for too long, but this evening she had ventured into the bedroom and it was quiet for awhile. I thought she could've beenin the toilet, but I was sure I never heard any toilet flushing or water flowing from the taps.
I walked into the bedroom to check. The lights were off except for the glow of the toilet lights streaming into the bedroom.
There she was, huddled in a corner at the edge of the bed sitting on the floor, sobbing away...I rushed immediately toward her and gave her a hug as we sat silently. We knew each other's thoughts, we knew our hearts were strained and our tears were jointly flowing as if two streams coming together as one.
The reality is that her situation has gotten serious. In fact, it was serious since the recurrence in 2004.
Just last Tuesday morning, Dr Leong pulled me aside when she made her morning rounds. She told me that looking at the latest reports/results of Jo's X-rays and blood tests. She may no longer be suitable for the NUH clinical trial and to be prepared for the worst. It was bad news, but nothing all too surprising from the development of things over the past months...the bloatedness, water in the lungs etc.
That night, we decided to lay everything before the foot of the Cross - our fears, grief, worry, anxiety, thanksgiving and confession about everything we thought was hindering our walk with God. We got rid of things in the house that could be strongholds by the devil. We reaffirmed out Faith in Christ and it took off a whole load of our burdens.We decided importantly, to work on our Will too.
No, we're not giving up in anyway! Simply acknowledging the inevitable. It's extremely hard when you realise that Jo and I have dreams and hopes we grieve for:
a. not being able to retire together
b. not being able to travel/vacate to our favourite locations (mainly island beach resorts...with good sand and clear blue waters!)
c. never having kids (which we love so much)
d. not being able to be parents
e. not being able to check out foodie places that Jo loves
We continue to pray for a miracle daily. We believe that God is omnipotent and can accomplish what He wants, whenever He wants without any need for man's intervention. God can heal in response to prayer whenever He chooses to do so.
Can God heal? Yes! Do all get healed? No!
So the question at the end of the day is "what is His Will for Joanne?" And what does He desire for Joanne to accomplish through this? We need to be mindful that God's Will for us supercedes all things. Just as in the book of Jonah, we see Jonah running away from God because he didn't want to go to a far away land but eventually does so because of God. We don't have the answers but we've seen one thing for sure, that many are being touched by Christ in following us on our journey.
Having said all that, we aren't climbing alone for sure. We have a Master Climber that guides and leads us every step of the way, he knows every thing there is to climb this mountain be it crossing a crevice or scaling the side of a steep rock wall with no hand or foothold in sight.
In fact we began the ascent, as I sit back and reflect, some 6 months back with the first occurence of Jo's back pain.
We don't know how much farther there is to climb before we reach the summit, but it's been lengthy and tough...really tough. At this point, we can't see all the way up but we can see quite a bit of how far we've come.
For those who know me, I've got a natural fear of heights or acrophobia. I don't know how this developed but it must have happened during one of the inter-island flights I took while I was studying overseas. So climbing let alone mountain climbing is the last thing on my mind and perhaps to me - a mindless life endangering activity which can be hardly considered as recreational.
April 19, 2007 - A night I'll never forget.
I usually never have Jo out of sight for too long, but this evening she had ventured into the bedroom and it was quiet for awhile. I thought she could've beenin the toilet, but I was sure I never heard any toilet flushing or water flowing from the taps.
I walked into the bedroom to check. The lights were off except for the glow of the toilet lights streaming into the bedroom.
There she was, huddled in a corner at the edge of the bed sitting on the floor, sobbing away...I rushed immediately toward her and gave her a hug as we sat silently. We knew each other's thoughts, we knew our hearts were strained and our tears were jointly flowing as if two streams coming together as one.
The reality is that her situation has gotten serious. In fact, it was serious since the recurrence in 2004.
Just last Tuesday morning, Dr Leong pulled me aside when she made her morning rounds. She told me that looking at the latest reports/results of Jo's X-rays and blood tests. She may no longer be suitable for the NUH clinical trial and to be prepared for the worst. It was bad news, but nothing all too surprising from the development of things over the past months...the bloatedness, water in the lungs etc.
That night, we decided to lay everything before the foot of the Cross - our fears, grief, worry, anxiety, thanksgiving and confession about everything we thought was hindering our walk with God. We got rid of things in the house that could be strongholds by the devil. We reaffirmed out Faith in Christ and it took off a whole load of our burdens.We decided importantly, to work on our Will too.
No, we're not giving up in anyway! Simply acknowledging the inevitable. It's extremely hard when you realise that Jo and I have dreams and hopes we grieve for:
a. not being able to retire together
b. not being able to travel/vacate to our favourite locations (mainly island beach resorts...with good sand and clear blue waters!)
c. never having kids (which we love so much)
d. not being able to be parents
e. not being able to check out foodie places that Jo loves
We continue to pray for a miracle daily. We believe that God is omnipotent and can accomplish what He wants, whenever He wants without any need for man's intervention. God can heal in response to prayer whenever He chooses to do so.
Can God heal? Yes! Do all get healed? No!
So the question at the end of the day is "what is His Will for Joanne?" And what does He desire for Joanne to accomplish through this? We need to be mindful that God's Will for us supercedes all things. Just as in the book of Jonah, we see Jonah running away from God because he didn't want to go to a far away land but eventually does so because of God. We don't have the answers but we've seen one thing for sure, that many are being touched by Christ in following us on our journey.
Having said all that, we aren't climbing alone for sure. We have a Master Climber that guides and leads us every step of the way, he knows every thing there is to climb this mountain be it crossing a crevice or scaling the side of a steep rock wall with no hand or foothold in sight.
We need to realise that sometimes the Master Climber may not always be by our side but instead ahead or above us searching for the right path to climb. However we are ALWAYS tethered to Him (with a rope) and He IS with us.
Ultimately, our lives are in the palm of God's hand. Whether we live or die, we are the Lord's (Romans 14:8) and therein lies our victory!
Ultimately, our lives are in the palm of God's hand. Whether we live or die, we are the Lord's (Romans 14:8) and therein lies our victory!
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4 comments:
Dearest Alex & Jo
When you go out to fight your enemies, you face horses and chariots,an army greater than your own, do not be afraid. The Lord your God, who brought you safely out of Egypt, is with you! Deu 20:1
The situation around us may seems overwhelming at times but the one who overcome the world is with us. He loves you and knows what you have been through... Jo, you are always my encouragement... thank you for being such a wonderful friend and sister to me. I do enjoy all the little gatherings, short lunches, shoppings and thanks for allowing me to be the "Maria"!! : )Just to let you know that it has never been a chore at all. I can't cook like Kim but for sure "Maria" is my strength... Don't be paisay with this 22 years friend. Alex, 3 cheers for such a wonderful and sweet hubby to Jo. You have shown me what is love, I have a deeper understanding of the marriage vow... you have set excellent examples. I know what Jesus will say when I meet Him somedays... "Alex is my excellent son, I have entrusted Jo to him and he has taken excellent care of her, the most precious gift I've given to him. Well done Alex!!"
In His name
Jas
To my dear cousin, Jo and Alex,
PRESS ON!! U all are not alone. You all are in my cell and my prayer agenda. We don't know what's ahead, let's pray for His purpose to prevail.
'Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' ~ Isa 40:31
Blessings,
Gigi
Dear Jo & Alex,
I wish i could say something reassuring or mightily inspiring but all i can is say again, leave it in the hands of the Lord.
I feel your weariness and i wish i could share your burden but knowing that there is One far greater than any of us who will wipe away all your tears and pain, i am comforted.
Always in my prayers,
Julie
Dear Jo and Alex,
Pls pls persevere on, I know its tough but pls do. I'm sure God will be willing to give Jo another chance at life.
Just out of curiosity, have you guys seeked a 2nd opinion or even a 3rd at other hospitals? I'm sure there is definitely a way to help Jo recover.
Maybe I'm taking it too hard, but I really don't wish to see or hear someone I know lose the battle with cancer. Pls let me know in any way that I can help; if you guys want, I can ask my oncologist for help too.
Praying hard...
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